Locked & Denied

Today marks day 17 since my last orgasm. I know, some of you are probably thinking, "17 days, hell, that's nothing." You are right. But for me, it is something. I don't know but it might be the longest I've gone, at least in a long while. That being said, I've been locked in my CB3000 for most of this time. One of the guide pins broke but I was able to make another pin out of a plastic anchor. We've also acquired a Birdlocked Neo as a replacement. But since I fixed the other there's been no need to try the Birdlocked out. So it'll just sit in the box as a back up for the time being. I prefer the hard plastic cage anyway as it insures I won't be able to get any stimulation or touch while wearing it. That being said, I know I said this blog is not all about sex but sex is all I can think of lately. It seems I've become very horny in the last few days but have been unable to do anything about due to the cage and my wife having control over when, if ever, I get to enjoy a little pleasure of my own. Additionally, there hasn't been much by way of tease and denial lately due to work responsibilities, home responsibilities, other concerns, and the fact we've both been fairly tired lately and just want to go to sleep when we get in bed. But last night she released me from the cage and I thought for sure I'd be able to manipulate an orgasm out of her. But, as luck would have it, I was wrong--dead wrong. She played with me a little bit and then told me goodnight. She did let me stay out overnight but this morning I was expected to lock it back up before leaving the house--which I dutifully did after showering. So here I sit, locked and denied again--but aching for some pleasure of my own. But it is not to be, not now anyway. My focus must remain on her and her needs. I need to work hard at refocussing, as being the man I am sometimes all I can think about is me--something that there is no place for when one aspires to be his wife's slave. Maybe I've reached chastity nirvana.

Chastity nirvana has been defined by one blogger as that stage of chastity whereby the one in chastity experiences a "Zen-like feeling of being locked up accompanied by a desire to be locked up. During this phase a man can't imagine being any other way and in fact, gets anxious at the thought of not being locked up." I say perhaps I've reached this stage because even though part of me wanted to manipulate my way to an orgasm last night I'm glad my wife didn't give in to my shenanigans but instead kept me denied. And I'm definitely thankful to be back in the cage today. This is good, because even though part of me desires my own release I really want to focus my attention on my wife and her pleasure, her needs, her wants, her desires--everything her! I want to do more around the house. I want to get some of the things done she wants me to get done. I want to do these things because they are things she wants done. And I definitely want to have my face where it should be--between her legs bringing her one intense orgasm after another. 

So the question I don't know the answer to nor do I need to know the answer to is, "When will she release me and allow me an orgasm?" As we have grown in our experience of F/m enforced chastity, which she often calls, "The Game," we have both agreed that it is not necessary for me to know the answer to that question, even though I might want to know it badly. Such uncertainty insures on some level that I keep my desires at bay and her needs at the top of the list. In the chastity cycle this is called by some, "The Home Stretch." Again, one blogger defines the home stretch as the sense that some men have as to when they are going to be released. I'm not sure I'm in the home stretch or ever will be as I simply have no idea when she might release me--I can only hope. But there's always this internal struggle going on inside me to want to be release yet wanting to be denied. Perhaps this struggle is because I know that once release comes for me my desire to serve my wife plummets dramatically. This may also be part of my desire to see just how long this chastity routine can be pushed. Subservient-Husband recently posted on his blog his request to his wife to keep him in chastity for a year. My assumption here based on his post is that he won't be experiencing any orgasms for himself until this year long sentence is completed. I wish him the very best. I'm not sure if I'd ever make it that long and I'm not all that sure my wife would grant me such a request. But, here I am at day 17. We'll see how many more days my present sentence lasts.