A Year Since My Last Post

Call me a procrastinator. But I haven't updated this blog since last February (2012). Oh, I've meant to but life has gotten in the way. But I feel like I need to blog, to get my thoughts down on cyber-paper (did I just coin that word?). Anyway, here's an update on my journey on becoming my wife's slave. 

First of all, I've been an utter failure. It seems life and family responsibilities and perhaps my own laziness and misguided fantasy has resulted in me being unable to follow through on my desire to be my wife's slave. It seems my mind focuses entirely too much on the sexual aspect -- that is, how I would like things to be rather than focusing on my wife as a whole person. I have a lot of work to do. Any suggestions?

Secondly, I've been extremely busy with work. I've been away from my wife and family for several weeks because of work and will continue to be separated from them for a few more weeks. I have had a few opportunities for some weekend visits, which has been nice. Things should get back to some semblance of normalcy in March at which time I can refocus on my journey.  

Thirdly, I've been wondering if my use of the word 'slave' is too extreme here. Perhaps what I really desire is to be submissive to my wife. But I do like the word slave as it captures more of what my desires are in this--to truly be surrendered to her control in all aspects of our relationship. I think part of the challenge here for me has been I think she finds all this more amusing than something that can actually be a reality for us. Sometimes I wonder is she's just entertaining me. This raises another issue for me--do I have to be entertained? That is to say, am I doing this for her or for me? If I truly desire slavery to her then does what I think, desire, want, etc., really matter? I don't think so. And I believe this is where I want to be and realize it will take a huge amount of work and dedication on my part.

Fourthly, I haven't kept up with my fitness and nutrition goals listed to the side. No surprise there. I need to refocus there as well. I've got to tie it all in with my desire to please and be pleasing to my wife.

Fifthly, I haven't been locked up in a long time. I realize when I have been locked it has been more of a request that she keep me locked, one which she has accommodated almost every time I've requested it. I'm sure there will be times like that again. But she also suggested in times past that I be on the honor system and only orgasm when she allows. I need to work on this. My recent release was my own doing. I should be ashamed. I think I am.

I will see her this weekend. I have already told her how much I am looking forward to seeing her. I think I'll drop a hint or two as to how horny I am for her and that if she so desires, she can use that to her advantage :-) I truly am evil!

I came across this picture on another blog. I think it captures some of what I need to focus on. Notice there's very little here about sex.  The last point reminds me that it's not about sex or the fulfillment of my sexual fantasies but about serving her. 

I think I'd like to re-work this somewhat with a new title such as "How to Serve Your Wife," or something along those lines and also reword some of the statements--perhaps a list of rules for me to focus on and follow.

Maybe I should re-read "Worshipping Your Wife" and also its companion piece, "Worshipping Your Wife 2." The first one really was a good read and I suspect the 2nd one will be as well. But right now, I'm swamp with work. But things will improve soon--I hope! 

Anyway, that's my update -- 1 year later. Any of my faithful or new readers are welcome to comment and offer suggestions. I'd be really interested in hearing from husbands in the same boat as me.  What are you doing? What changes have you made? How have you overcome your fantasy for reality? What rules do you follow? Are they written or mostly in your head? Inquiring minds want to know--namely, mine.